Loneliness

At the singles fireside tonight, the speaker in his closing remarks said he had thought that marriage would end his loneliness, but it didn't. I thought I knew what he meant before he finished making his point, but he took it a step beyond what I was thinking. I understood he wasn't being negative about his wife or marriage. What I took away from his remarks were two vital points; one, that loneliness is a part of the human experience, and two, we cannot expect another person to cure our loneliness.

Our speaker shared an experience of a time when he was explaining something which was of great significance to himself, and his wife didn't respond quite the way he'd hoped. Retiring to another room in frustration, he sought comfort in prayer from his Heavenly Father and the result of that prayer was a remembrance of the Savior's closest disciples dozing off while He suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane. You remember the story. The Savior took Peter, James and John with him to the garden and asked them to wait while He prayed. He returned to find them sleeping. He admonished them, and left to pray again. Three times Jesus prayed, and three times the disciples slept.

The lesson taught to our speaker that night, which he in turn taught us tonight, is this: our Savior knew loneliness, disappointment, grief, sorrow, temptation, bitterness, betrayal - you name it, He knew it. Every single emotional, physical, mental and spiritual pain we experience, our Savior experienced as well. That is part of how the Atonement works. That is how He knows how to succor us. We are never alone. We are not forgotten. We are known by our Heavenly Father and our elder brother and we matter to them.

And it doesn't matter if we are single or married, we all struggle.

What ought we do with that knowledge? I think the answer is twofold. First, we should to seek to remember that sublime truth, even to pray for help in remembering it. I believe we remember best by putting the theory to the test. Test it out in prayer; seek to see ourselves in all our potential as Heavenly Father and our Savior see us. Even if we see it but for a small moment, how much strength would that give us in overcoming all our doubts and insecurities, all our trials and tribulations?

And second, we can help others remember that truth -- by standing beside them, comforting and encouraging and buoying them up. Yes, that's hard to do when our own pains are so acute we are deadened  to the suffering around us. But that's a funny thing about mourning with those who mourn: Grief and sorrow are divided, and joy is multiplied. Always.