Monday, February 13, 2012

Valentines Day

Quick - how is Doomsday different from spending Valentines Day with someone you truly love and who truly loves you in return? ......................................................... give up? .......................................... Doomsday might actually happen! 

Nah, I'm not quite that cynical. Almost, but not quite. My optimism has waned greatly over the years, after being told too many times I'm just like the brother she never had, or I'm a wonderful guy and she hopes someday she'll meet someone just like me, or that she's not good enough for me (her opinion, not mine.) After a broken heart or two (or fourteen) it's difficult to be optimistic. And that whole thing about expressing your feelings and choking on his dust as the guy quickly scurries away? Well, my female friends have had it happen to them, but I myself cannot vouch for how fast guys run, not even my own speed. I do however know some very fast female runners. Holy cow, they were fast. The cynic in me is almost convinced that if I ever want to break off a relationship, all I have to do is say, "I love you."

Yesterday one of my grandnieces posted on Facebook, "Some call it Valentines Day. I call it Tuesday." I L-O-L'd and thought she is much too young to be so jaded. A friend of hers queried why, and she responded that people should show love year round, not just on a designated day. And I thought my niece is way too young to be so astute. 

I do know people who don't show much affection towards their significant others except for those days the greeting card companies extol, such as birthdays and dooms... I mean Valentines Day. The rest of the year they pretty much ignore or even abuse those they've supposedly made the greatest of commitments to. I've heard sad tales of the most despicable of abuses happened happening on those special days. So I can easily see how people can be turned off by the holiday even if my own jaded attitude did not come so dramatically.

I also know people who show true love and commitment (I don't mean mere flowers and candy and starry-eyed gazes) to their better halves every single day. I want that. (Sadly, these people don't have single sisters, aunts or cousins my age - I've already checked.) Hope springs eternal, but that hope is a bit brighter on other days of the year. The few times I had someone special in my life to share my enthusiasm with, the object of my affection graciously humored me, but it was obvious the enthusiasm wasn't mutual. Now my excitement over the day is pretty much limited to February 15th - the day after - when the grocery stores mark all the pink and red  candies down to half price. Yes, I admit it, if I cannot obtain true love, I consider cheap candy an acceptable substitute.

My friends know me to have a slightly off kilter sense of humor. I have bought Valentines Day cards not to send out, but because the warped humor appeals to me. Some of my favorites follow, and you'll see why I don't send them to anyone, at least not to anyone I would rather woo:

Front of card, depicting cartoon guy: "You'll be my Valentine? Really? Be still my heart!"
Inside shows the guy plopping over with a thud.

Front of card, showing old fashioned illustration of Victorian woman.

Inside: "If you break my heart, I'll break your neck."

Front: "This Valentines Day, celebrate in the manner in which you've grown accustomed."
Inside: "Staying at home, wondering what it would be like to have a date."

Ouch!

I wasn't always this cynical. Even now, I'm not this cynical every single day. Hey, I own thirty-some chick flicks, including four versions of Jane Eyre, and another forty which are semi-chicky-flicky. I read books by Richard Paul Evans. Heck, I've even read Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë! I sing along to love songs on the radio. I attend weddings, including those of snot-nosed punks I've known since they were babies, and I have even caught a couple of garters in my days (admittedly, I generally try to sneak out before it's time to toss it, but sometimes people come looking for me and drag me back.) Hey, I might not be very good at it, but I am totally into this love thing. 

Just not on February 14th. Otherwise known as Tuesday.